1. Do not act surprised when someone comes to you, telling you she/he thinks she/he may be gay, lesbian, or bisexual. The person has tested you with a series of "trial balloons" over a period of time and has decided that you can be trusted and helpful. Don't let him/her down.
2. Deal with the feelings first. Many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people feel alone, afraid, and guilty. You can help by listening, allowing them to unburden uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.
3. Be supportive. Let gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons know that they are okay. Explain that many people have struggled with the issue of homosexuality. Acknowledge that dealing with one's sexuality is difficult. Keep the door open for further conversations and assistance.
4. Assess the person's understanding of homosexuality. Replace misinformation with accurate information. We have all been exposed to the same myths and stereotypes, so it helpful to provide clarification.
5. Use non-judgmental, all-inclusive language in your discussion. Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues from others. Do not label or categorize.
6. Respect
confidentiality. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people who share their identity
with you have established a scared trust that must be respected.
7. Examine your own biases. You need to remain a neutral
source of information and support
8. Be informed. Most of us are products of a heterosexist/homophobic society that has been paralyzed by misinformation and fear. You cannot be free of it by just deciding to be free; read reliable resources and talk to qualified persons.
9. Know when and where to seek help. Know the referral agencies and counselors in your area.