Tips #18

We had been hiking in the Pennsylvania wilderness for hours. We were lugging food, a tent, and other camping equipment. I was wearing new shoes I had bought for the occasion, and my feet were wet. By this time, my toes were covered with ugly white blisters. My companion, who ran five miles a day, was also tired, but he wanted to push forward, thinking that there would be a better camping site over the next ridge, then past the ridge after that, and so on. A few more miles may not seem very far unless you are carrying a fifty pound backpack up steep hills and each step is painful.

I did not think too highly of my companion, Jim, at that moment, but he was the most important influence on me during my undergraduate years. Jim was a philosophy professor, but he was not the typical book worm. He grew up on a farm and loved the outdoors. He also liked to chew tobacco, listen to classical and country music, cook wonderful international foods, visit art museums, play baseball, and write children's books. His wife also held a Ph.D. in philosophy. She was a classically trained musician and a budding photographer. I was a junior in college, with a double major in psychology and philosophy. I didn’t know much about camping, fishing, or canoeing. But I enjoyed his company, we had a chance to talk about philosophical issues, and I was exposed to many new ideas, activities and things.

Jim and I went on a couple of other camping trips and a few fishing expeditions. My feet healed fairly quickly, although I used up a lot of our emergency band aids. I never learned how to fish all that well. Jim always made fun of the fact that I got so excited a few times when he was reeling fish into the canoe that I forgot to secure my fishing poles. I lost a few poles that way. I had dinner at his house fairly often. I cut his lawn when they went on vacations. Jim helped keep me interested in school, gave me advice, and made doing well in school a priority for me. I shared my successes with him, and he made me feel better when I failed. He pushed me to do my best, even though doing my best was painful at times, like when we hiked in Pennsylvania.

A few years after our trip, I went off to graduate school. Soon thereafter he left to teach in Maine and live in a hundred year old house in the wilderness near a lake. Jim was my first mentor. I learned a great deal from him. Most of what I learned was not book knowledge. I learned about values. I grew as a person from being around him. I trusted his advice because he had accomplished many of the things that I wanted to do, and he always had my best interests at heart.

Mentors are important in college and in the workforce. Establishing friendships with people who can help you succeed is vital. Finding someone who will take an interest in you, whether it is a professor, a staff member, or an older successful student can make a big difference. Only about 60% of the people who start taking classes at a university complete a degree. A good mentor will help you over the rough spots, explain how the system works, and make your time at college more enjoyable.

When we are in high school, we often think of our teachers in an adversarial way. Teachers make us do things that we do not want to do. We often do not even think of them as people; most are like bosses that we don’t like. We rarely see the value of the work that they prescribe. College is different because we have chosen to be here, and no professor is going to force us to do the work. By this time, we realize that our teachers are people too; professors are people with an abiding interest in the subjects that they teach. They like talking about their disciplines, and when they have the time, they want to help students who share their enthusiasm for the subject. If you get to know them as people, you will discover that there is a great deal more to be learned from them than what you hear in the classroom.

How do you find a mentor? The best way is to get involved in activities outside of the classroom. For example, visit briefly with professors during their office hours. Show an interest in what they are teaching. Attend lectures sponsored by the departments. Join clubs or organizations. Volunteer to tutor or seek employment on campus. Resident assistants, program advisors, graduate students, fraternity brothers and sorority sisters, university staff members and others may also have time to be your mentor. Identify good role models and stay away from those who provide bad influences. Getting involved is the key. If you make an effort to distinguish yourself from everyone else, you will get to know people and friendships are likely to develop. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you do not need anyone else. That’s what most of the 40% of students who will not graduate from college think. Seek out people who have already "been there and done that." You may get a few blisters along the way, but you will gain immeasurably by seeing things from a new perspective as you travel with someone who can help point out the way in your life’s journey.