from
T h e  F O O L
a novel of detection, grits, and pornography
Jonathan Cook


 


[Jonathan Cook is an MA candidate in the Graduate Program in English. The Fool has served as his creative thesis. In the story thus far the detective hero, Michael Minos, has accepted a commission to find Angelica Quints, the runaway daughter of Peter Quints, a charmismatic but vaguely ominous tycoon. The trail leads him to the small Midwest town of Vespers, where after various misadventures he befriends a prostitute, Virginia, who tells him that Angelica may be working as a stripper. —JDK]

 
V


irginia called around six and told me she was running a little late. I ignored the muffled sounds in the background as best I could, and waited until after nine before going to her room. Before I could knock, though, the door swung open and I collided with a short, well-dressed man. His hair was sticking up in several places and there were red splotches around his neck. I offered to help him off the ground, but he pushed my hand away and struggled to his feet. "Enjoy your evening?" I asked. He scowled and limped away.

Virginia came to the door in her bathrobe. "Sorry I’m running a little late. He took longer than usual."

“A regular?” I asked.

“Yeah. He likes the domineering schoolgirl shtick.”

"You really go all out, don't you?"

"I believe if I'm going to do a job, I should do it right." Virginia winked, turned, and let her robe fall to the floor behind her as she walked into the bathroom.

"You really go all out," I said as she shut the door.

I sat down on the edge of the bed to wait for her, but I couldn't help thinking about what went on in it over the past couple hours. I opened a window and rested on the inner ledge, breathing in the chilly air. Off in the distance, tiny clouds were lit up with lightning bolts. The storm was still a few hours away, at least, but it was going to be heavy.

"Ready to go?" Virginia asked.

"That was fast," I said. I turned to see her wearing a tight red chiffon cocktail dress with a tapered skirt and thin shoulder straps. For a minute, I forgot I was working. "You look good. Looks like rain, though. Are you sure you want to wear—you know, never mind. You look very—elegant."

"Thanks, but this isn't a date. You don't need to fawn."

"I take it that means I won't be getting lucky at the end of the night."

She smiled. "I never said that."

We drove downtown, where she had me park in front of Troy's Maggot, a bar for those who enjoyed the smell of vomit and the crunch of peanut shells underfoot. She took my hand with a half-smile and led me past a group of tattoo-laden men with broad shoulders and thick bodies clad in black leather. Several of them whistled at her, and she gave them a sly flip of her hair. We walked through a small doorway next to a jukebox, down a long, narrow hallway, until we came to a closed door, where she turned to face me, our bodies much closer than I was comfortable with. She touched the side of my face, then turned to the door and gave three sharp raps. An electronic voice coming from a speaker behind us asked for the password. "Frank Chambers sent me," Virginia said. There was the clap of a large lock being released, and the voice told us to proceed.

I pulled the door open, and before us stretched the longest unbroken staircase I had ever seen. The bottom was just barely visible from where we stood. Running along one side of the passageway were thick, rusting pipes and bundles of cable. The lights overhead pulsed slowly. A constant dripping of water could be heard, as well as the faintest hints of music. Several people, dressed in everything from black leather jackets to sport coats, leaned up against the walls, smoking cigarettes and watching the two of us as we squeezed past them. The further we went, the louder and more defined the music became. It was techno, with plenty of emphasis on the bass and percussion lines. The air gradually became heavier, and a slight haze appeared around our legs. At the bottom, a muscular man with a shaven head and large teeth slumped on a wooden stool, his chin resting on his fist, guarding the door beyond.

"Alan?" Virginia said. He didn't move. "Alan?" She reached out and touched his shoulder.

"I asked you not to call me that," he said, still unmoving. "It's Brutus now."

"Okay, Brutus, can you let us in?"

Alan—or Brutus—slid off his stool and once risen to his full height stood almost half a foot taller than me. He took a step forward, leaned down so that his face was nearly touching my own, and squinted. "Who the hell are you?"

"He's with me," Virginia said.

"Is he?" He continued looking at me. "He looks like he's going to be a problem."

"Just open the door," I said.

He grinned and, with a grunt, he pulled the door open. A thick cloud of smoke floated into the stairway. Virginia took my hand and led me through the entrance.

The room was large but cramped. A red-carpeted path ran down the center, leading from the door we had just come through to a stage with two thick poles, one near either side. Midway down the path, a second path cut across, running from a deejay booth near the left wall to a bar set against the right wall. In the four quadrants these paths divided the room into were crammed tiny tables, each with a small globe-shaped candleholder in the center and two small chairs facing towards the stage. In the wall on either side of the deejay booth were a series of narrow recesses, each with a padded ledge about a foot deep. Tubes of constantly changing neon lights lined the outside of the deejay booth, the bar overhang, and the edge of the stage. A thick cloud of smoke clung to the ceiling. Speakers pumped techno music at high volumes from each of the darkened corners. The deejay, his head just visible in his booth, shook his head to the beat. Several of the tables were occupied by men sweating around their cigarette stubs. Women in thongs and novelty bras walked along the carpeted paths in high heels, carrying trays filled with drinks. On the stage, a young woman who couldn't have been more than eighteen was busy wrapping her thin legs around the leftmost pole and climbing it upside down. On the bar overhang, written in Day-Glo pink paint, were the words Club Elsinore.

We found an empty table near the bar, sat down, and ordered drinks from a brunette with small breasts: a dry martini with two olives for Virginia and a bourbon on the rocks for me. We sat in silence. Virginia appeared to be enjoying the show, and I kept to my drink.

A short, thin man in a dark suit walked up the table. In an unusually high voice, he introduced himself as Nicolas, a buyer of souls. At first, I laughed, thinking it was a joke, but when he asked what I was laughing at, I realized he was serious. Judging from his mannerisms, the way he pursed his thin lips and held his hands together like an undertaker, he was very serious. I asked him what a buyer of souls was, and he removed a slim notebook from inside his sport jacket. He opened to a bookmarked page and handed it to me: I, the undersigned, do hereby relinquish all claims, explicit and implicit, to my eternal soul and do transfer said claims to the care of Nicolas Chikovsky. I understand that in relinquishing my soul I also relinquish all rights, explicit or implied, physical or metaphysical, to my eternal soul and transfer said rights to the care of Nicolas Chikovsky. I furthermore agree that I enter this contract of my own free will. Beneath this were four lines, two for the buyer's name, printed and signed, and two for the seller's. When I asked what he was offering in exchange, he said the next round of drinks would be on him. I laughed and handed the notebook back. He returned it to his coat pocket, nodded his head, and walked off to another table.

"Don't mind him," Virginia said. "He came to town a couple of months ago, and he's been buying souls ever since. I think he sells them online."

The woman on stage finished her dance, gathered up the clothing she had removed and the dollar bills that had been flung at her, and walked off stage. Another woman, this one almost painfully thin, took the stage and began her routine as a new song began. She started off slow, gyrating her hips and running her hands all over her body, but as the music intensified, so did her gyrations, her hips working against her legs and forcing her body into positions that were more masochistic than erotic. She collapsed to the floor, her legs bent beneath her, and then lifted her pelvis, arching her back and slowly raising her torso, her head hanging back. Her hands caressed her thighs, her hips, and then her flat stomach, and finally she seized her breasts and snapped her head forward, her face twisted into a grimace of pleasure. She tore off her bra and thrust her chest forward. The crowd surged, their cheers temporarily overwhelming the music. On her knees, she coyly fondled herself with closed eyes and a smile. Moving lithely to her feet, she hunched down with her knees together and ran a hand down between her legs. The crowd roared. Her legs spread to reveal her hand on the inside of her thong teasing herself. Her legs closed back together as she feigned embarrassment, then she spread them again and resumed her playing with more intensity, her face a mask of pleasure and agony. She leaned back until she was lying on the floor and pointed her legs toward the ceiling. In one swift motion, she removed her thong and gave the crowd what it wanted. They cheered and tossed crumpled bills at her. She fell forward into a sitting position, her head tilted back, and stretched her legs out to either side, exposing herself further.

Virginia tapped her hands together lightly. "Marvelous," she said. "Simply marvelous. What beauty. What poise. What grace."

"Not a big fan, I take it?"

She snickered and signaled for another drink. "I don't like liars, and this"—she gestured towards the stage—"is lying of the worst kind."

"Lying?"

"Daddy's little girl as a nymphomaniac. A virgin and a whore. If someone wants to sell sex, then they should sell sex, not the idea of sex." She ate one of the olives, stirring her drink slowly as she chewed.

"Like you," I said.

She stopped stirring, and lifted the other olive to her face. She stared at it, her lips pursed. A bead of gin ran down the side, down the toothpick, and came to rest at the corner of her thumbnail. "I like sex. I like it, and I am very, very good at it. Now, if these little girls aren't any good at it, fine, but they should stop pretending to be."

"Some people don't come to these places for sex, you know."

She looked at me with a raised brow. "Then what? Intimacy?"

"Point taken."

"Sex is not a bad thing. It's not something I should be made to feel guilty about."

"Do you feel guilty about what you do?"

"I love what I do."

"Then what—"

But I didn't get a chance to finish. The music had stopped and the stage was empty. Suddenly, there was a loud popping coming from the speakers. I looked over at the deejay booth to find him tapping the microphone.

"Testing," he said over the speakers. "Testing. Can you horny bastards hear me? Good. Then sit down and shut the fuck up! We've got a special treat for you tonight, and you greasy shits won't want to miss this. Are you ready?" There was scattered applause. "I said, are you motherfuckers ready for this?" The applause was louder. The crowd wanted fresh meat. "All right, then. Ladies and gentlemen, Club Elsinore is proud to give you the very lovely, very tempting, very dangerous Sherri Baby."

Surprisingly, no one clapped. In fact, there was no sound at all. Those who had been whooping and hollering only moments earlier were now completely still. I looked at Virginia, who nodded, a slight smile touching the corners of her mouth.

And then there she was. Angelica Quints, standing not much more than five-foot-five, stared out at the crowd with a deliberately vacant expression.
When the music started, I thought there was something wrong with the sound system. The first several seconds were nothing but a series of layered drones played with varying frequencies. Then came a soft pop, as though someone had squeezed a plastic sandwich bag full of air, followed by the main notes of the piano section. Beneath the piano was a constant drone, like the sound of electricity grafted onto the sound of a breeze. Every so often, bells could be heard. It was simple, with only slight changes to what little melody there was, but the overall sound was horrible. What I heard sounded less like actual music and more like the mauled remnants of music. The reverberations sat at the forefront of the mix, as if I was listening to noises echoing through a very long steel pipe.

Angelica's performance was a beautiful contrast to the noise. A ballet, not a striptease, her body acting and reacting to each motion. She let her slip fall, and the material seemed to billow outwards in slow motion, each individual curve holding, however briefly, the lights that shone down. Her thin legs, so smooth and finely sculpted, flowed from one position to the next without stopping or slowing, as if constant change was her most natural state. Her face, though, maintained the same blank expression throughout her routine, as though her mind had separated from her body, as though she knew what was coming. Near the end, she reached her arms toward the ceiling, tilted her head back, and let herself fall to the stage, but even this seemed fluid, as though she was a wave on the ocean, raised only to fall. The music faded into echoing echoes and she lay there, her chest rising and falling slowly.

All through her performance, the crowd remained silent, but at the end, they erupted with incredible ferocity. They stood in the aisles, shouted her name, pounded on tabletops, and pelted her with crumpled bills. A few even tried to climb onto the stage and touch her. She collected her clothing and tips, then exited through a side door guarded by a large black man. The crowd continued to rave, even as the deejay tried to calm them by offering an hour of discounted lap dances. Tables were overturned as the crowd became more frenzied. I motioned to Virginia that it was time to leave. As we made our way to the exit, I could hear glass shattering.

Outside in the cool night air, Virginia began laughing almost hysterically. "Holy shit! That was unbelievable! I need to figure out how to do that."

"I guess. Where's the other exit?”

"What other exit?" she asked.

"When Angelica left, she left through a side door near the stage. How would she exit the building from there?"

Virginia pointed towards an alley that ran alongside the bar. "Probably somewhere in there."

I gave her the keys to my car and told her to leave them at the front desk of the hotel. When I told her I was going to follow Angelica, she looked at me with narrowed eyes and asked, "Why?"

"Because this is what I was hired to do," I said.

There was a single door in the alley leading into the Troy's Maggot/Club Elsinore building. I hid in a darkened doorway in the opposite building, at one end of the alley, and waited. An hour passed, then another. Several women did come out the door, so I expected this would be the exit Angelica would use. Another hour passed. The temperature dropped and all I had was my sport jacket, which I wrapped tightly around me. Soon I was shivering and sniffling. I considered leaving and coming back another night, but I stayed, cold as I was, in that doorway, and waited.

Around one, it began to rain. Shortly after that, Angelica walked out the door and into the alley. Anyone who had seen her strip would have been hard-pressed to recognize her in the denim skirt and jacket she wore. Her hair was pinned up and a small purse hung from her left shoulder, but as she passed beneath the lamp that hung just over the doorway, I could see that same empty expression on her face. She walked towards the north end of the alley, away from me, and I followed. She turned right onto Ashland Street and went eleven blocks, into the cardboard factory district. The rain was pouring down. Lighting bolts tore across the sky and illuminated the almost deserted streets. I followed a block or two behind her, just far enough to keep her in view, but as I trudged through the rain-slicked streets, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was being followed. Every so often, a dark-hued car would roll past me, continue for a block or two, then turn and disappear. I couldn’t be sure, but it seemed to be the same car each time. But by the time Angelica turned left at Mills Street, the car had vanished. I followed her another six blocks, to the very edge of town, where she went into a church. There was no sign outside indicating the denomination. My jacket was soaked through, and I was shivering all over, so I welcomed getting out of the rain, but I circled the building first to make sure she wasn't trying to give me the slip. There were only two exits, one in the very back, which was locked, and the main entrance. After waiting a few minutes, I stepped inside.

It was a church just like any other, with vaulted ceilings, pews, hymnals, stained glass windows, an altar covered with white cloth, a baptismal font, confessionals, and a tabernacle. A monstrance, turned sideways and surrounded by unlit white candles, stood on the altar. The thick, smoky scent of incense hung in the air. A flash of lighting, filtered through the colored glass of the windows, cast long shadows from the numerous pillars, crosses, and statues.

I couldn't see Angelica from the back, so I moved closer to the altar, my wet shoes squeaking against the smooth tile floor. If she didn't know she was being followed, she at least knew she was not alone. Another flash of lighting came, and I could make out her profile seated near the front, her head bowed in prayer. I walked to the pew behind her and sat down. We sat there for a long time in silence. She never moved or gave any indication that she knew I was there. Finally, I leaned forward. "Angelica," I whispered. Nothing. "Angelica." Still nothing. "Angelica, your father sent me." Something was wrong, and even as I reached out to touch her shoulder, I knew what it was.

I turned her head towards me and saw a smoking hole in her forehead. A small amount of blood had trickled down into her right eye. But her expression was still blank, her eyes empty. Her mouth was not twisted with shock or fear.
There was a sharp hiss, and the back of the pew exploded into splinters. I threw myself to the floor. Another shot caught the cushion of the kneeler less than a foot from my face. Rapid footsteps retreated. I crawled to the opposite end of the pew and down the side aisle, moving as quickly and quietly as I could. One of the doors at the main entrance opened. I leapt to my feet and ran outside, realizing too late my error.

It felt like someone punched me hard in the shoulder. My entire arm burned, my vision blurred, and I collapsed to the wet cement. Somewhere far away, I heard a voice say, "Thank you."

***