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Being in a
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP means … |
If you are in
an UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP … |
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Loving and taking care of yourself,
before and while in a relationship. |
You care for and focus on another person
only and neglect yourself or you focus only on yourself and neglect the
other person. |
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Respecting individuality, embracing
differences, and allowing each person to "be themselves." |
You feel pressure to change to meet the
other person's standards, you are afraid to disagree, and your ideas are
criticized. Or, you pressure the other person to meet your standards and
criticize his/her ideas. |
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Doing things with friends and family and
having activities independent of each other. |
One of you has to justify what you do,
where you go, and who you see. |
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Discussing things, allowing for
differences of opinion, and compromising equally. |
One of you makes all the decisions and
controls everything without listening to the other's input. |
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Expressing and listening to each other's
feelings, needs, and desires. |
One of you feels unheard and is unable to
communicate what you want. |
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Trusting and being honest with yourself
and each other. |
You lie to each other and find yourself
making excuses for the other person. |
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Respecting each other's need for privacy. |
You don't have any personal space and
have to share everything with the other person. |
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Sharing sexual histories and sexual
health status with a partner. |
Your partner keeps his/her sexual history
a secret or hides a sexually transmitted infection from you or you do
not disclose your history to your partner. |
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Practicing safer sex methods. |
You feel scared of asking your partner to
use protection or s/he has refused your requests for safer sex. Or, you
refuse to use safer sex methods after your partner has requested or you
make your partner feel scared. |
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Respecting sexual boundaries and being
able to say no to sex. |
Your partner has forced you to have sex
or you have had sex when you don't really want to. Or, you have forced
or coerced your partner to have sex. |
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Resolving conflicts in a rational
peaceful, and mutually agreed upon way. |
One of you yells and hits, shoves or
throws things at the other in an argument. |
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There is room for positive growth and
learning more about each other as you develop and mature. |
You feel stifled, trapped, and stagnant.
You are unable to escape the pressures of the relationship. |